


Chaos Chatfic

by Justcallmeraina



Category: Epithet Erased (Cartoon)
Genre: aroace sylvie, ben will steal your pronouns (he uses he/him and they/them), chatfic, non-benary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23370415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justcallmeraina/pseuds/Justcallmeraina
Summary: just like the title, a chaotic chatfic! Lots of platonic bonding (and maybe a little bit of romantic? who knows!) Not putting platonic tags in because there would be way too many.
Relationships: Crusher/Giovanni Potage, Percival "Percy" King/Ramsey Murdoch/Zora Salazar
Comments: 76
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

Molly made a group chat

Molly named the chat “Group chat”

Molly changed her name to “Bear Trap”

PercivalKing: Ah, so you’re the “Bear Trap” that criminal was speaking of.

Soup: yOU PUT THE COPS ON HERE?

PercivalKing changed her nickname to “The cops”

The cops: Yes, that is me.

Bear Trap: I’m sorry, boss!

Soup: wHY

Bear Trap: I accidentally clicked on her name, and didn’t notice until she talked

Soup: fair enough.

Soup: wait why do you have her Discord

DrDrowsy: why did you add me to this meaningless chat

Bear Trap: I wanted you two to get along! And Percy too, I guess.

The cops: Why wouldn’t I get along with your friends?

Bear Trap: about that… 

Bear Trap changed Soup’s nickname to Giovanni Potage

The cops: oh

Giovanni Potage: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO TELL HER

The cops: I’m glad you did, now I can arrest him!

Bear Trap: nO!

Bear Trap: Please don’t! He didn’t do anything that bad :(

The cops: I don’t get what you’re saying, he tried to steal the Arsene Amulet?

Giovanni Potage: I did not! I just ended up with the necklace, and I tried to sell it, but some Banzai Vice Principals stole it from me >:(

The cops: Then who was trying to steal it?

Giovanni Potage: That museum lady and the super buff guy :/

The cops: Oh, we already have them in custody.

The cops: Well, now that I know your identity, and I already know Molly’s, may I ask the identity of @DrDrowsy ?

DrDrowsy: I’m Sylvester Ashling.

The cops: Ah, thank you.


	2. I'm not good with chapter names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your favorite conman and stinky cowboy join the chat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a lot longer than the first chapter.

The cops: Do you mind if I add a friend of mine? I think Mr Potage knows him

Bear Trap: Sure, I don’t mind!

DrDrowsy: do whatever

Giovanni Potage: As long as you don’t arrest me, I’m cool with whatever you do

The cops: thank you!

GoldMan was added to the chat

GoldMan: what is this?

The cops: A chat that I was added to on accident, but now you’re here!

GoldMan: okay??

GoldMan: hey wait, @Giovanni Potage

Giovanni Potage: hm?

GoldMan: Are you that Banzai Blaster who had the necklace at Redwood Run?

Giovanni Potage: Who’s asking?

GoldMan: Ramsey Murdoch.

Giovanni Potage: Oh!! Yeah, I am

GoldMan: oh, nice

GoldMan changed Giovanni Potage’s nickname to “Dumbass”

Dumbass: hEY

The cops: There are children on this chat!

DrDrowsy: Children, plural? I assume you’re talking about Molly and Giovanni, because I am not a child.

GoldMan: How old are you?

DrDrowsy: 15.

GoldMan changed DrDrowsy’s nickname to “Child”

Child: hEY

Dumbass: good one.

Bear Trap: We don’t need to fight! We just made this chat!

SundialCowboy was added to the chat

GoldMan: WHO ADDED HER?

The cops: I didn’t.

Bear Trap: I didn’t!

Dumbass: I didn’t, I don’t even know who that is

Child: do you think I have any friends that I could add to this chat?

Dumbass: that’s depressing.

SundialCowboy: Howdy, I’m Zora~

GoldMan: How did you get into this chat??

SundialCowboy: A magician can’t reveal her secrets! You should know that better than anyone, conman.

SundialCowboy: Anyway, hiya kids and Percival

Child: I’M NOT A KID

SundialCowboy: really?

Child: aaAAA

Child changed Child’s nickname to “Sylvie”

Dumbass changed Sylvie’s nickname to “Furry”

Furry: I AM NOT A FURRY

Dumbass: YOU HAVE A FURSONA

Furry: BEEFTON IS NOT MY FURSONAAAAA

Dumbass: REALLY?

Bear Trap: I’ve given up on stopping the fighting

GoldMan: is anyone else confused?

The cops: very much so.

SundialCowboy: yup.

Dumbass: Dr Nerd can turn into a giant fucking cow

The cops: laNGUAGE, THERE IS A CHILD HERE

Dumbass: Bear Trap? She hears me swear all the time

Bear Trap: I do :3

The cops: You swear around children?

Dumbass: just Bear Trap and Dr Nerd

Furry: I’M NOT A KID!!

The cops: You could ruin their innocence!

Bear Trap: my innocence was already ruined after being forced into child labor

Bear Trap: I mean, what?

Bear Trap: how do you delete messages on Discord

Bear Trap: fUCK THIS ISN’T GOOGLE

Dumbass: are you okay, Bear Trap?

Bear Trap: yeah!! I’m fine, why?

Dumbass: okay, you’re coming over to my house and we’re watching movies

Bear Trap: Okay!

Dumbass: me and my boys were gonna do a movie night anyway

Dumbass: @Furry wanna come?

Furry: I would never “do a movie night” with you and your “boys”! I have work to do, anyway.

Dumbass: Whatever floats your boat.

Dumbass: I gotta go now, texting and driving isn’t safe!

Bear Trap: Bye!! See you soon!!

Dumbass: Bye!!

GoldMan: Wait, furry kid, what was your name again?

Furry: My name is Dr Sylvester Ashling.

GoldMan: Dr? You went to college?

Furry: Yes, I did.

GoldMan: How old are you again?

Furry: 15.

SundialCowboy: Wow, impressive.

Furry: I know.

The cops: Do you have an epithet?

Furry: Giovanni just said that I can turn into a giant cow??

Furry: Of course I do.

The cops: Oh, yes, of course.

Furry: But I’m not telling you what it is :)

Bear Trap: it’s Drowsy. That’s his epithet.

Furry: mOLLY!

Bear Trap: It wasn’t me! Boss stole my phone!

Bear Trap: he says hi by the way

Furry: Why couldn’t get just use his own phone?

Dumbass: my phone was in my pocket, Dr Nerd.

Furry: You could just get it out???

Dumbass: I didn’t want to >:(

Dumbass: gotta go now

Bear Trap: he says that texting and driving is dangerous

The cops: I agree!

SundialCowboy: what’s a car

GoldMan: Do you not know what a car is??

SundialCowboy: of course I know what a car is, I was kidding

SundialCowboy: or was I

Furry: what

SundialCowboy: I was. I know what a car is.

GoldMan: Good, I didn’t wanna have to tell you what a car is

Dumbass: hi :3

Furry: what do you want, Giovanni?

Dumbass: it’s not Boss, it’s Fred

Furry: One of his “boys”, I assume?

Dumbass: yup!

[Bear Trap sent an image]  
[Image description: all of Giovanni’s boys, out of uniform, sitting in the back of Gio’s mom’s van, smiling at the camera. Fred is holding a flip phone in his hands very carefully.]

Furry: He has a flip phone?

Bear Trap: Yeah, he doesn’t wanna have to get a new one, and he says it works fine.

GoldMan: Also, easily replaceable in case of an emergency!

Dumbass: woah, Boss is smart for thinking of that. -Crusher

Dumbass: he’s smart at everything.

SundialCowboy: how’d you get your Banzai name, your crush on Giovanni or somethin?

Dumbass: delete that delete that delete that

SundialCowboy: wOAH WHAT, I WAS RIGHT?

Bear Trap: :O

SundialCowboy: Hah! You really fell for your boss?

Dumbass: yes.

Dumbass: prepare for spam.

Dumbass: h

Dumbass: h

Dumbass: h

Dumbass: h

Dumbass: h

Furry: wha

Dumbass: h

Furry: sTOP

Dumbass: fine.

Dumbass: Woah, Crusher spammed a lot

Dumbass: oh it’s Giovanni btw

GoldMan: hi

GoldMan: Don’t scroll up

Dumbass: Okay??

Bear Trap: You really should’ve come, Sylvie, we’re making a blanket fort!!!!

Furry: no thanks, I’m still doing paperwork.

Bear Trap: your loss!

Furry: whatever

Furry: I’m going offline, I need to do paperwork. @ me if you need me.

Bear Trap: Okay!

Bear Trap: @Furry

Furry: what.

Bear Trap: Good night!

Furry: good night

Bear Trap: To the rest of you, I’m probably gonna fall asleep during the movie, good night!!

The cops: Good night, Molly.

GoldMan: Night, kid.

SundialCowboy: night!


	3. Sylvie doesn't sleep

Bear Trap: Morning!!

The cops: Good morning

GoldMan: why are you two awake, it’s 6am

Bear Trap: Why are you up?

GoldMan: I haven’t slept yet

GoldMan: working on a commission

Bear Trap: Like, art? Can I see?

GoldMan: uh… no.

Bear Trap: why not?

GoldMan: it’s not… appropriate for kids your age.

The cops: Is that really the best way to get money?

GoldMan: Hey, money is money.

Furry: maybe you should try doing something original.

GoldMan: Nobody’s gonna pay for that.

Furry: fair.

The cops: Why are you up so early? I got up in the middle of the night for a drink of water, and you were online.

Furry: I pulled an all-nighter. I just got caught up on paperwork and bills.

GoldMan: Bills? You live alone?

Furry: yup.

GoldMan: impressive.

Bear Trap: I had to get up to find cereal

Bear Trap: Sylvie! You need to sleep!

Furry: says who?

Bear Trap: Says me!

Furry: What’re you gonna do about it?

Bear Trap: >:c

Furry: Nobody can make me go to sleep!

Bear Trap: pleeeeeeeeease

Bear Trap: pleaaaaaaaaase

Bear Trap: pleaseeeeeeeeee

Furry: fine.

Bear Trap: :3

Bear Trap: We should stop talking now and let him sleep

The cops: Good idea.

GoldMan: I should get back to work anyway


	4. Sylvie's short

GoldMan: oKAY SO

GoldMan: I SAW THE FURRY IN PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME

Furry: I AM NOT A FURRY

GoldMan: HOW IS HE SO SHORT???

Furry: I’M NOT SHORT!

GoldMan: UH, YEAH YOU ARE.

Furry: YOU AND GIOVANNI ARE JUST TALL, I SEEMED SHORTER BY COMPARISON

Dumbass: Bear Trap was there, too!

Furry: SHE WAS SITTING ON YOUR SHOULDERS

Bear Trap: I was the tallest one there >:3

GoldMan: okay, kid, if you aren’t short, how tall are you?

Furry: …

Furry: 5’1-

GoldMan: HAH, YOU ARE SHORT

Furry: SAYS THE GROWN MAN TO THE TEENAGER

GoldMan: YOU’RE 15

Furry: SO?

GoldMan: YOU’RE ALMOST DONE GROWING

Furry: AAAAAA

Furry: I’M STILL GROWING THOUGH

GoldMan: YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT GETTING MUCH TALLER

GoldMan: I DIDN’T

GoldMan: GIOVANNI, BACK ME UP.

Dumbass: when I was your age, I was taller :/

Dumbass: although I had some developmental issues, I’m not the best person to ask-

GoldMan: OKAY

GoldMan: I’LL ONLY DO THIS ONCE

GoldMan: @SundialCowboy help me, please, you’re the tallest here

SundialCowboy: Wow, you actually called me here, Ramsey.

SundialCowboy: WAIT, YOU’RE ONLY 5’1???

Furry: aAAA

SundialCowboy: PFFFFFF

SundialCowboy: I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO BE TALLER

Furry: THAT’S NOT THAT SHORT

SundialCowboy: I WAS WAY TALLER THAN THAT WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE

Furry: and how tall are you now..?

SundialCowboy: 6’3

Bear Trap: woah, you’re taller than Boss!

SundialCowboy: Sure am!

Dumbass: for the rECORD

Dumbass: she’s only 3 inches taller than me

Furry: MOLLY, HELP ME

Bear Trap: I’m not getting in on this!

Furry: OFFICER PERCY?

The cops: I’m not getting in on this.

Bear Trap: just accept it. It’s a fact that you’re short.

Furry: not you, too :(

Bear Trap: I’m sorry, Sylvie, that was Boss

Dumbass: :(

Furry: I’m gonna get back to work, and we are dropping this topic.

GoldMan: Ugh, fine :(

SundialCowboy: fine

Dumbass: fine


	5. The chapter in which the Banzai Blasters and Molly's friends join

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry i don't have these for earlier chapters, I'll try to remember for later chapters
> 
> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Dumbass- Giovanni  
> Furry- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> LoveToRoughhouse- Trixie Roughhouse

Dumbass: HEY @everyone

Dumbass: DO YOU MIND IF I ADD MY BOYS?

The cops: I do not mind

GoldMan: sure, why not?

SundialCowboy: sure

Furry: whatever.

CrashedMyCar, KidPuncher, gay, MaleCheerleader, MaybeAVampire, and GalaxyNova joined the server

Dumbass: HIII!!!

CrashedMyCar changed CrashedMyCar’s nickname to “Car Crash”

KidPuncher changed KidPuncher’s nickname to “Ben”

gay changed gay’s nickname to “Crusher”

MaleCheerleader changed MaleCheerleader’s nickname to “Flamethrower”

MaybeAVampire changed MaybeAVampire’s nickname to “Spike”

GalaxyNova changed GalaxyNova’s nickname to “Dark Star”

Bear Trap: Hi!!!!

Spike: Hey!

Dark Star: Hey, Bear Trap!

Car Crash: Hi!

Ben: Hi!!

Crusher: Hi

Flamethrower: Fair warning, @Crusher swears like a sailor.

Dark Star: He don’t talk much, but when he does, it’s mostly swears

Crusher: you get your ass

The cops: So, you must be the Banzai Blasters

Car Crash: wHAT?

The cops: Don’t worry, I promised that I wouldn’t arrest you.

Bear Trap: Hey, do you guys mind if I add my friends..?

The cops: Of course we don’t mind, right?

GoldMan: sure, why not?

Furry: Of course you can add your friends, Molly.

SundialCowboy: Dumbass over here did, so of course you can.

Dumbass: hEY!

Dumbass: wait that’s my username

Dumbass: Anyway, of course you can, Bear Trap!

Bear Trap: Thanks!

FeenieFlee and LoveToRoughhouse joined the server

FeenieFlee: Hello! I’m Phonecia Fleecity XV, but you may call me Feenie if you wish!

LoveToRoughouse: hey, I’m Trixie 

Ben: Hi!

LoveToRoughhouse: hey, wait @Ben

Ben: ?

LoveToRoughhouse: Why is your username KidPuncher

Ben: long story

Bear Trap: I was the kid :)

FeenieFlee: Excuse me?

LoveToRoughhouse: mOLLY, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US?

Bear Trap: It’s okay!! I didn’t get punched!!!

LoveToRoughhouse: then why’s your nickname kiDPUNCHER 

Ben: BECAUSE

Car Crash: it was the only Banzai nickname he could think of, and he had to punch Bear Trap to get it

Car Crash: he did not punch Bear Trap

FeenieFlee: I have to ask, Molly

Bear Trap: Ask away!

FeenieFlee: Why “Bear Trap”?

Bear Trap: Well, Boss said that I’m quiet and I wear a bear hoodie, so Bear Trap!

LoveToRoughhouse: valid

Dumbass: That is correct!!

Bear Trap: Hi, Boss!!! Meet my friends!!!!

Dumbass: Hello!

FeenieFlee: Hi!

LoveToRoughhouse: hi

SundialCowboy: hiya kids

SundialCowboy: do you wanna get in my wagon

GoldMan: is that a western version of “do you wanna get in my van”

SundialCowboy: maybe

The cops: I would advise you to not get in neither a wagon nor a van with that woman.

SundialCowboy: Aw, you’re no fun!

The cops: You can have fun without kidnapping children.

Dumbass: Really?

The cops: Please do not tell me you kidnapped a child.

[Dumbass sent an image]  
[Image description: A selfie of Giovanni and Molly. They appear to be in Giovanni’s room, and Molly is sitting on his bed, while Gio is sitting on the floor.]

Dumbass: It was just Bear Trap :/

Dumbass: Nobody noticed she was gone anyway

Bear Trap: It’s Sunday, and the store is closed

The cops: Just tell me you’re either going to bring her back before she goes to sleep, or you have a change of clothes for her and her backpack

Dumbass: I have a change of clothes for her and her backpack just in case, but I’m bringing her back

The cops: Alright, that is okay.

LoveToRoughhouse: You got kidnapped without me? smh

Bear Trap: Sorry, I’ll be sure to ask my next kidnapper to pick you up too

LoveToRoughhouse: bitch, I’m coming over now, you have Life360 on ur phone

Bear Trap: tRIXIE

Bear Trap: boss says it’s okay

LoveToRoughhouse: I didn’t care, but now I’m glad I don’t have to fight anyone

Dumbass: I’d just lock the door??

LoveToRoughhouse: I can pick locks

Dumbass: damn

Furry: Ugh, can you stop it with the meaningless chat? I’m trying to work here, so you should take it somewhere else.

Dumbass: You can mute the chat.

Furry: Ugh, fine.

Furry: @ me if you need anything.

Bear Trap: @Furry

Furry: what

Bear Trap: ily

Furry: I love you too. Now, just @ me for serious reasons.

GoldMan: @Furry

Furry: what

GoldMan: you’re short

Furry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FeenieFlee: How short are you @Furry ?

Furry: 5’1.

FeenieFlee: Oh, that’s quite tall!

FeenieFlee: He’s taller than Trixie and Molly

Furry: Wait, I am?

GoldMan: He is?

LoveToRoughhouse: He is?

Bear Trap: trixie 

Bear Trap: you know you’re shorter than 5’1

LoveToRoughhouse: oh yeah

LoveToRoughhouse: sometimes I forget that I’m short

FeenieFlee: I’m the tallest out of our friend group

Furry: I’m still excited I’m taller than someone besides Molly-

LoveToRoughhouse: fuckin nerd 

The cops: You should not swear! You are only a child!

LoveToRoughhouse: oh shit I got busted by the cops

SundialCowboy: I like this kid! She’s got a backbone!

Bear Trap: Yeah, but she doesn’t have a brain.

LoveToRoughhouse: I’m not the one who jumped off of my roof and broke her wrist!

FeenieFlee: You told me to!

LoveToRoughhouse: It was to train Molly’s epithet!

Bear Trap: I hadn’t ever tried to dumb down fall damage!

LoveToRoughhouse: Yeah, and we were giving you experience!

FeenieFlee: You may be an idiot, but you did give me a dollar afterwards!

FeenieFlee: it was almost worth having to tell my parents that I broke my wrist because I jumped off of your roof

SundialCowboy: FeenieFlee fell from a high place.

GoldMan: THAT IS A LITERAL CHILD

SundialCowboy: so?

FeenieFlee: indeed I did!

SundialCowboy: See, she likes it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I characterize anyone wrong, I haven't seen Anime Campaign.


	6. The Banzai Blasters get milkshakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Dumbass- Giovanni  
> Furry- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> LoveToRoughhouse- Trixie Roughhouse

PM

FeenieFlee: Are you Sylvester Ashling?

DrDrowsy: Yes, that’s me, why are you asking?

FeenieFlee: Molly said you can make sheep?

DrDrowsy: I can.

FeenieFlee: can I please meet up with you irl

DrDrowsy: Well, I’m at work right now.

DrDrowsy: But I can call for a lunch break, if you wanna come over

FeenieFlee: On my way!

DrDrowsy: okay???

Group chat

Dark Star: I want a milkshake :/

Spike: oh, same.

Ben: Aren’t both of you lactose intolerant?

Dark Star: So?

Spike: So?

Spike: EYYYY

Dark Star: EYYY

Ben: you do realize Boss is on this chat, right?

Dark Star: shit

Dumbass: you guys

Spike: Do you wanna come along?

Dumbass: OF COURSE I DO

Dumbass: Can I bring Bear Trap and Trixie?

Dark Star: Sure!

Ben: Can I come?

Spike: Sure!

Dark Star: Anyone else?

Car Crash: Can I come?

Crusher: May I?

Flamethrower: Me too?

Dark Star: welp, that’s all of us

Dark Star: and of course you can come!

Dumbass: Do you guys need to be picked up?

Dumbass: who am I kidding, of course you do

Dumbass: going offline now, texting and driving is unsafe <3

SundialCowboy: Did he just sign his message with a heart??

Furry: he does that.

SundialCowboy: Like, a lot?

Bear Trap: He wants you guys to feel loved!

SundialCowboy: wow

SundialCowboy: that actually makes me feel nice-

Bear Trap: It worked!

SundialCowboy: Don’t tell him

Bear Trap: too late :)

Furry: you can’t show any sign of weakness


	7. haha creampuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Dumbass- Giovanni  
> Furry- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> LoveToRoughhouse- Trixie Roughhouse

PM

FeenieFlee: Can you please get some ‘dirt’ on Giovanni?

LoveToRoughhouse: uh sure

LoveToRoughhouse: what kind of shit do you want

FeenieFlee: Oh, anything will do!

LoveToRoughhouse: k

LoveToRoughhouse: okay, I got somethin

LoveToRoughhouse: his original Banzai nickname was Creampuff

FeenieFlee: Thank you!

Group chat

Furry changed Dumbass’ name to “Creampuff”

Creampuff: wHA

Creampuff: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?

FeenieFlee: He had my assistance!

Furry: Thank you again

LoveToRoughhouse: Did you betray me???????? feenie how could you

FeenieFlee: Oh, Dr Ashling simply asked, and I helped him!

LoveToRoughhouse: you’ve slain me

LoveToRoughhouse: I’m dead now

LoveToRoughhouse changed LoveToRoughhouse’s nickname to “Dead”

Bear Trap: oh god, she actually fell over

Bear Trap: feenie, you killed her

FeenieFlee: I doubt I’ve done such a thing! I’ve most likely just wounded her soul.

Bear Trap: you say that like it’s not bad

FeenieFlee: Is it?

Dead: PHOENICIA FLEECITY

FeenieFlee: She’s alive! It’s a miracle!

GoldMan: you kids these days

SundialCowboy: Ah, I remember when I was a kid

SundialCowboy: wait no I don’t

Furry: I’m concerned for her sometimes

SundialCowboy: Aw, ya don’t have to be concerned. Scared, maybe, but not concerned.

Furry: why should I be scared??????

GoldMan: You don’t know her

GoldMan: she’s terrifying

Furry: oh

The cops: She truly is.

Creampuff: she is :(

Bear Trap: You met her?

Creampuff: yeah, she tried to take the Arsene Amulet off of me

GoldMan: he already lost it.

Creampuff: I know :(((

Car Crash: he had it for like a day

Creampuff: Not you too!!!

Car Crash: Sorry, Boss, but you need to be more responsible

Creampuff: says the guy who crashed his car five times!!!

Car Crash: Actually, it’s 6 now.

Creampuff: DUDE

Car Crash: THE ROAD WAS WIGGILYYYYY

Creampuff: THAT WAS YOUR EXCUSE LAST TIME

Car Crash: WELL IT WAS

The cops: Are they like this often?

Furry: Sadly, yes.


	8. why is molly the only tween who sleeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> Furry- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse

FeenieFlee: I just finished training, it ran rather long tonight!

Creampuff: Training?

FeenieFlee: Yup! I’ve gotta get my stamina up somehow!

Creampuff: It’s like 11pm, you should be sleeping

FeenieFlee: Oh, I’ll sleep in a few minutes! I just need to get changed first!

Creampuff: Good, you need to sleep.

FeenieFlee: I will, do not fret!

GoldMan: jeez, how old are you?

FeenieFlee: I’m 12!

GoldMan: your grammar is amazing for a kid your age

FeenieFlee: Thank you!

GoldMan: I agree with the dumbass, you should be getting some sleep

FeenieFlee: Oh, I will! Unlike a certain friend of mine, I don’t lurk in the shadows when I should be sleeping.

Creampuff: wh

Dead: FUCK YOU

Dead: she’s talking about me going on invisible so Molly doesn’t yell at me for not sleeping

Creampuff: You need sleep, too!

Dead: Why aren’t you sleeping?

Creampuff: One, I’m older than you. Two, I’m working on a project and I’m almost done.

Dead: What is it?

Creampuff: I’m knitting myself a sweater

Dead: sweet

Creampuff: WAIT

Creampuff: Was that you trying to distract me?? It’s not gonna work!

Dead: shit, you’re smarter than you seem

Creampuff: Thank you!

Creampuff: Wait was that an insult-

Dead: I’m going to sleep now :)

Creampuff: Good night!

Dead: gn


	9. wtf is wrong with Sylvie

Creampuff: I’m bored :/

Creampuff: Do you giys wanna talk about anything?

Furry: *guys

Creampuff: IT WAS A TYPO, DR NERD

Creampuff: anyway, what are you guys doing?

GoldMan: I’m painting

The cops: I’m on break right now, playing cards with Meryl

SundialCowboy: None of your business.

Flamethrower: I’m at work, but nobody’s here

Furry: I’m watching a movie, I find all the romance disgusting.

Furry: Romance is baloney.

Creampuff: Baloney??? Never took you as the type to avoid swears.

Furry: *BELOW ME

Furry: IT WAS AUTOCORRECT

GoldMan: If it autocorrected to baloney, that means you say it a lot

Furry: IT’S A SANDWICHHHHHH

SundialCowboy: Aw, lay off the poor kid. He just didn’t check a text before he sent it. 

SundialCowboy: Reminder that the dumbass also just sent a typo

Creampuff: am I just gonna be referred to as the dumbass now

SundialCowboy: Yup!

GoldMan: sure are, kid

Creampuff: :(

The cops: Reminder that there are children here.

SundialCowboy: Ignoring your reminder.

The cops: Why do I try?

GoldMan: Ah, Perc, sometimes people listen

GoldMan: You’re just talking to a chat that’s mostly criminals

Bear Trap: Speaking of criminals

Bear Trap: Do you mind if I add a couple friends here?

Furry: I don’t care.

Creampuff: Do whatever!

GoldMan: I don’t mind.

SundialCowboy: I don’t give a fuck.

The cops: Language. 

The cops: And I do not mind.

Bear Trap: Thanks!!

MirrorMirror and Barrier joined the server

MirrorMirror: Hi. I’m Mera.

Barrier: Hello!!! I’m Indus!!!

Bear Trap: Hi!

The cops: Hello.

Creampuff: hi.

SundialCowboy: Howdy!

The cops: Wait. Molly, aren’t you supposed to be in school?

Bear Trap: Oh! I was running a fever so I stayed home 

Creampuff: And you didn’t tell me?? I’m coming over with soup right now!

Bear Trap: I’m fine! Don’t worry about me!

Creampuff: You have a fever! That means you’re sick!

Bear Trap: I have gingerale.

SundialCowboy: Wait.

SundialCowboy: Where’s the furry?

Creampuff: ??

SundialCowboy: @Furry

SundialCowboy: @DrDrowsy

SundialCowboy: Nothing.

Bear Trap: That means he left the server, I think

Barrier: Why would he do that??

Bear Trap: I dunno


	10. oh. THAT'S wrong with Sylvie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> DrDrowsy- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya know the chapter I was talking about in the notes? yup, that's this.

PMs

SundialCowboy: Hey, kid, why’d you leave the server?

DrDrowsy: im n ot a ki

DrDrowsy: k

DrDrowsy: kid

SundialCowboy: Are you okay?

SundialCowboy: Dr Ashling?

DrDrowsy: no

SundialCowboy: You’re not okay?

DrDrowsy: no

SundialCowboy made a group chat

SundialCowboy named the group chat H E L P

SundialCowboy: @everyone HELP ME

PercivalKing: You need help?

SundialCowboy: Y E S

SundialCowboy: HOW DO YOU HELP CHILDREN

GoldMan: Why are you asking me???

PercivalKing: I’m sad to say, but I’m not very good with children.

SundialCowboy: WHO IS???? I’LL KILL YA IF YOU DON’T FIND ANYONE

GoldMan: okay, jeez 

Soup joined the server

Soup: What is this?? Some cool adult chat?

SundialCowboy: wh

SundialCowboy: you added a child

GoldMan: He’s good with kids! Right?

Soup: I’d like to think so

SundialCowboy: You know what, he’s fine!

SundialCowboy: What do you do when a kid isn’t ok???

Soup: Do you know why they’re not okay?

SundialCowboy: let me ask him

PMs

SundialCowboy: Why aren’t you okay?

DrDrowsy: I

DrDrowsy: That lady who joinedd the chat… she broke my ribs and took my epithet. I still have nightmares, and when she joined I just… left out of fear that she might hurt me again

SundialCowboy: Oh…

H E L P

SundialCowboy: Okay so he’s having flashbacks because of something happening

Soup: Can you tell me what??

SundialCowboy: I can’t

Soup: Okay

Soup: Tell him everything’s okay, and that you’re there for him

SundialCowboy: okay

PMs

SundialCowboy: Hey, you’re gonna be okay. I’m here if you need me.

DrDrowsy: thanks

H E L P

SundialCowboy: I think he’s okay, thank you.

Soup: It’s no problem.

PMs

DrDrowsy: Can you add me back to the chat please?

SundialCowboy: Sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zora has become sylvie's mother


	11. Zora goes mom mode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> DrDrowsy- Sylvie  
> SundialCowboy- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse

Group chat

Bear Trap: I’m getting kinda worried about him

DrDrowsy joined the chat

DrDrowsy: Sorry, Discord glitched out. It kicked me from this chat, but I got an invite back.

Bear Trap: I’m glad you’re okay!!

MirrorMirror: who tf are you

DrDrowsy: itss not important 

MirrorMirror: if you say so

DrDrowsy: anywsy

DrDrowsy changed SundialCowboy’s nickname to Mother

Mother: wHAT

GoldMan: I never knew you were soft for kids.

Mother: I’M NOT SOFT

DrDrowsy: I’M NOT A KID

Creampuff: Aw he really is your son

Mother changed DrDrowsy’s nickname to Son

Son: Oh.

Son: It’s only fair.

MirrorMirror: how’d ur real mom think about u getting adopted by a cowboy?

Son: .

Son: im

Son: my mom is dead.

MirrorMirror: oh.

PMs

SundialCowboy: wtf

MirrorMirror: ?

SundialCowboy: You just assume his ma is alive?? 

MirrorMirror: sorry, most people have parents.

SundialCowboy: you say to an orphan

MirrorMirror: jeez, i’m sorry 

SundialCowboy: You’re sayin sorry to the wrong person.

SundialCowboy: But I doubt he’s gonna want to talk to you.

MirrorMirror: what can i do about it now?

SundialCowboy: Don’t do it again.

MirrorMirror: sure whatever

Group chat

Bear Trap: It’s okay, my mom’s dead too!!

Son: I know that. You still haven’t taken me up on that one free session.

Bear Trap: Oh, I’m fine! 

GoldMan: Jeez, there’s a lot of orphans on this chat

The cops: That is correct.

Son: there are a lot of orphans out there.


	12. The ship chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> Son- Sylvie  
> Mother- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse  
> MirrorMirror- Mera   
> Barrier- Indus  
> gay- Crusher  
> GalaxyNova- Dark Star  
> CrashedMyCar- Car Crash/Fred  
> KidPuncher- Ben  
> MaleCheerleader- Flamethrower  
> MaybeAVampire- Spike

SundialCowboy: @PercivalKing

PercivalKing: Do you require my assistance?

SundialCowboy: ARE YOU LEGALLY ABLE TO ADOPT SOMEONE

PercivalKing: Excuse me?

PercivalKing: I suppose I am, yes, but why?

SundialCowboy: I NEED TO ADOPT THE FURRY BUT I HAVE A BOUNTY OVER MY HEAD CAN YOU DO IT FOR ME

PercivalKing: Adoption is a hard thing to do, Zora.

SundialCowboy: please 

SundialCowboy: imagine how much easier it would be for him if he was adopted. I’ll help you with whatever you need, it’ll just be your name on the papers

PercivalKing: Well, I mean, I could.

SundialCowboy: THANK YOU

SundialCowboy: I’M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS YA

PercivalKing: Excuse me?

SundialCowboy: DID I FUCKIN STUTTER

GoldMan: Never took you as the affectionate type.

SundialCowboy: ME NEITHER, BUT HERE WE ARE

PercivalKing: okay?

SundialCowboy: That was a yes to the kiss

SundialCowboy: one second

GoldMan: Are you just gonna go to her??

SundialCowboy: Yup.

PMs

PercivalKing: Ramsey, I need your help.

GoldMan: What do you need my help with?

PercivalKing: So you know how Zora said she would give me a kiss? Well, she did, and I enjoyed it.

GoldMan: Oh nice

PercivalKing: I believe I have feelings for her.

GoldMan: Are you gonna tell her or just wallow in your crush?

PercivalKing: I’m not sure yet.

H E L P

Soup: I hate to rain on your parade, but don’t you need his consent to adopt him?

SundialCowboy: Damn, I knew I forgot something

PMs

SundialCowboy: HI HELLO HOWDY

DrDrowsy: Hi?

SundialCowboy: DO I HAVE YOUR CONSENT FOR THE COP TO ADOPT YOU?

DrDrowsy: wh

DrDrowsy: What?

SundialCowboy: DO I HAVE YOUR CONSENT FOR THE COP TO ADOPT YOU?

DrDrowsy: I don’t need parents.

SundialCowboy: but it’s better for your records to have a legal guardian 

DrDrowsy: I’m technically an adult, I graduated college.

SundialCowboy: But you’re not a legal adult.

DrDrowsy: Adoption is a big deal! I don’t think you grasp how big this is!

SundialCowboy: It’s less big of a deal than you think.

DrDrowsy: I’ll… think about it.

H E L P

SundialCowboy: He says he’ll think about it!

Soup: congrats on your possible future son!!

SundialCowboy: thank you 

gay made a group chat (I’m not sure if I’ll get everyone to talk but it’s basically the Banzai Blasters [excluding Molly and Spike] and the Redwood Run trio)

gay named the group chat Help I’m Gay

gay: can I get some help w/ something plz

PercivalKing: As long as it’s legal, I’d be glad to assist

KidPuncher: I’ll try to help!!!

GalaxyNova: Yeah!

gay: I need romance help

gay: I need to tell Boss about my feelings

CrashedMyCar: oh, that’s gonna be hard

PercivalKing: I’m sorry to say, I’m not the best with romantic gestures.

GoldMan: Me neither. Good luck, though.

KidPuncher: uhhhhh

GalaxyNova: Well, everyone’s different. Maybe you could get him flowers??

gay: I already tried. He ate them.

GalaxyNova: o h.

SundialCowboy: Maybe you should get him something he can’t eat?

gay: like what?

SundialCowboy: uh 

SundialCowboy: you’ve got me there. Good luck.

gay: thanks.

CrashedMyCar: Ask him out to see a movie? Take him to a baseball game?

gay: that’s perfect, thanks fred 

CrashedMyCar: No problem!


	13. lucky number 13!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> Son- Sylvie  
> Mother- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse  
> MirrorMirror- Mera  
> Barrier- Indus  
> gay- Crusher  
> GalaxyNova- Dark Star  
> CrashedMyCar- Car Crash/Fred  
> KidPuncher- Ben  
> MaleCheerleader- Flamethrower  
> MaybeAVampire- Spike

GoldMan: We should lighten the mood a bit

The cops: Agreed.

GoldMan: uh

Mother: So… do yall like… the weather?

Son: is this how people talk to each other?

Spike: no??

Son: Well, I didn’t know that.

Dead: guys

Bear Trap: hm?

Creampuff: ?

Dead: I’m gonna say a swear

The cops: Do not!

SundialCowboy: Don’t listen to her, you can do it

Dead: h

Dead: h

Dead: this is hard

Crusher: it’s ok take your time

Dead: he

Bear Trap: You can do it!

Dead: heck

Dead: that was really fucking hard, holy shit

SundialCowboy: Congrats!

Dead: oh, thank you.

Son: I’m not sure if I like this better than the weather talk

The cops: Well, sir, you should probably come down to the station if you plan on being adopted.

Son: Uh, okay…

Bear Trap: Wait what???

Mother: I got the cop to adopt my son for me

Bear Trap: you just met him, and you haven’t seen him in person

Mother: oh shit you’re right 

Mother: give me a sec, I’m coming to your house @Son

Son: uH

Son: just let me put on some pants

Creampuff: you’re not wearing pANTS??

Son: IT’S JUST ME AND MY CAT HERE, I DON’T NEED TO WEAR PANTS.

Creampuff: WHAT IF SOMEONE CAME TO THE DOOR?

Son: I’M WEARING AN OVERSIZED HOODIE

Creampuff: DID YOU GET IT FROM THE KIDS’ SECTION?

Son: I GOT IT FROM THE MEN’S SECTIONNNNN

Creampuff: WHAT SIZE IS IT

Son: medium

Creampuff: HOW BIG IS IT ON YOU?

Son: it’s at my knees

Creampuff: YOU’RE SO SHORT-

Son: I’M 15 STOP BULLYING MEEEEE

Creampuff: NEVER, NERD

Mother: @Creampuff if you don’t stop fucking messing with my son, I’ll mess you up.

Creampuff: What’ll you do, cowboy?

Mother: I know all your secrets. I can know anything I want to.

Creampuff: damn, who outed me??

Mother: that’s what you say

Creampuff: wait

Creampuff: PLEASE DON’T TELL MY MOM I SNUCK OUT TO GET A SODA AT 3AM

Mother: I’m gonna tell both of your ma’s that you snuck out to get a soda at 3AM.

Creampuff: nOOO

Creampuff: I’LL BE NICE TO THE FURRY I PROMISE JUST DON’T TELL MY MOMS

GoldMan: that was a decently toned down threat

GoldMan: You're going soft, ain’tcha?

Mother: You say that again and I turn you into dust.

GoldMan: okay nevermind

GoldMan: my point still stands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, but I'll hopefully have another chapter out soon!


	14. Molly gets robbed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear Trap- Molly  
> Creampuff Giovanni  
> Son- Sylvie  
> Mother- Zora  
> GoldMan- Ramsey  
> The cops- Percy  
> FeenieFlee- Phonecia Fleecity XV  
> Dead- Trixie Roughhouse  
> MirrorMirror- Mera   
> Barrier- Indus  
> gay- Crusher  
> GalaxyNova- Dark Star  
> CrashedMyCar- Car Crash/Fred  
> KidPuncher- Ben  
> MaleCheerleader- Flamethrower  
> MaybeAVampire- Spike

Bear Trap: I’VE BEEN ROBBED

The cops: What was stolen??

Creampuff: I’ll beat them up with my bat!!!

Bear Trap: MY PRONOUNS

Bear Trap: BEN TOOK THEM

Ben: ;3

Ben: I’m on a hunt to get all of the pronouns

Ben: I already stole the pronouns of some non-binary cat person

Son: That’s not possible

Son: Wait, cat person??

MirrorMirror: that’s kinda kinky bro

Barrier: LADY MERA, THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS CHAT. 

Dead: Who are you calling a child???

Bear Trap: You’re 12.

Dead: fair.

Bear Trap: But, that’s not important right now!! My pronounsssssssssds

Creampuff: Ben, give them back.

Ben: Fine :(

Bear Trap: thank you :3

Ben: ok so now I need someone to steal she/her pronouns from

Creampuff: Go steal Spike’s

Ben: I tried to but she bit me

Ben: I still have the scar

Son: What????

Son: Scar?? From a bite mark?? How??

[Spike sent an image]  
[Image description: A selfie that’s just Spike’s teeth. Much like her name, they’re very spiky.]

Son: o h

Son: Are those natural???

Spike: yup

Son: I have so many questions

Son: But most importantly, @Ben what are your pronouns?

Ben: they/them and he/him! I need to steal someone’s she/her to make a set

Son: You can’t steal someone’s pronouns???

Ben: Tell that to the person who’s pronouns I stole!

Son: gkyekyfyieiyeiys

Bear Trap: Is he okay?

Creampuff: is he doing the thing again

Bear Trap: oh god is he doing the thing again

Bear Trap: @Son

Bear Trap: I’ll call him.

Creampuff: Why does he always do this?

The cops: Do what, if I may ask?

Creampuff: He does this thing where he thinks so much that he kinda like,,, stops paying attention to real life

The cops: That is strange.

Son: It happens a lot. I’m not sure why.

The cops: I will have to look into it for you.

Son: Uh. Thanks?

The cops: You’re welcome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch out, Ben might steal your pronouns  
> ah shit he's behind me hel0eokfodjvgih


End file.
